5 Reasons I don’t belong in your bougie mom clique

So I feel like I have to start this off pretty blunt.

I LOVE MY KIDS. I SWEAR I DO.

I spend most of my days (and even nights) trying to figure out how I can be a better mom. I mean, I literally lose sleep over it. I see other parents and I always compare myself and think I’m just not doing enough. Or if my daughter is having a fit, I think if I was a better mom maybe I could have nipped this in the bud a long time ago. But, I do try my hardest to be the best mom I can be to my 15 yr old and 6 yr old children. So here is a list of reasons I’m not a great mom.

My Kids’ Diet

My son, that giant man child of mine, is currently 6 ft tall. I swear all the hormones from the over processed foods are shooting my kid through the roof. My daughter wont eat most vegetables and recently has sworn off any meat except chicken nuggets from McDonald’s. Her diet consist of rice and beans or pasta. Meanwhile, my son will eat all his food, her leftovers and then some. With hundreds of options for me to make – none of which my daughter will eat and all of them my son will – I don’t feel especially adventurous. I try to take the easy way out most nights and that includes Easy Mac. Not the greatest, but everyone can agree and eat it with out a fight. Most of the time.

Hygiene

My kid hates bathes. She has sworn off bathes and without much fighting, she flat will not take one. Gross, right?? Well I have figured out a way for her to take bathes with less of a battle. BATH BOMBS! She loves them, but to ensure my kid isn’t going to get a UTI, I opt for the more expensive ones. This is putting a pretty hefty hole in momma’s pocket but no more crying, so I’m taking as a win.

Directions

My kids can not for the life of them follow directions. Like “Can you please get mommy a towel from the linen closet?” Often results in them walking to the linen closet (the home of all things towel like) and tell me they can’t find any towels. Or they’ll come back to me with toilet paper. I mean … but why??

Mommy Juice

I drink wine in front of my kids. I don’t get hammered in front of them, don’t get me wrong. I’m not an alcoholic or anything. But I do have a glass of what the kids refer to as Mommy Juice.

Pinterest Reject

I can not do anything on Pinterest. I feel like a failed mom any time I attempt to do anything I find on there and it’s a little depressing. I feel like that site was created to make creative moms brag and lord their epic-ness over normal people. All bow before the Pinterest Goddess, ye mere mortals.

I mean I get it, I may not be the worst mom in the world. But, sheesh keeping these kids alive requires lots of focus which I mainly have none of. But I try and I guess that’s what counts.

They are healthy and relatively happy. And that’s what matters most to this not-so-great mom.

 

 

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